KentNewsNet.com

As you might say, O.M.G!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quoting may be an art form, but your writing certainly is far from it.

Your first sentence: "A recent behavioral development began as an addiction, sometimes becomes an annoyance and currently embodies a newfound personal skill."

Have you ever even *heard* of the term "parallelism"?? "Newfound," by the way, is two words. Perhaps as you were writing this, you simply confused the term you were looking for with "Newfoundland."

Your second sentence: "This development is my habit of speaking in different voices, particularly the Australian, ghetto-fabulous, British and Southern accents."

Are you speaking in different voices, or using different accents? By the way, "ghetto-fabulous" would be a dialect, if anything.

I mean, really -- did you write this at the last minute? Did your editor not read it? Do you even have an editor? Did you just type a rough draft and hit "publish"???

Jesus H. Christ -- this is supposed to be a newspaper, not a blog!

Oh, but there's more:

"More importantly, strangers are thrown off when I throw an odd manner of speech into conversation as if it weren't weird at all." Just what is "an odd manner of speech," exactly? I think you were thinking "figure of speech," but you meant "an affected way of speaking"? Either way -- you're confused.

"Disregarding the phenomena of the accents' melding, making it sound like I reign from an imaginary melting-pot country, these accents have granted me the power to become something I have always wanted to be: a quoter." Pretty sure you meant "hail" instead of "reign." And I'll presume that a "quoter" is "one who quotes," awkward as this usage sounds.

"I can never throw that clincher back into conversation, solidifying my love for the movie or TV show." See, here, "throw that clincher back into conversation" would be a *figure* of speech. Though, granted, one that you made up.

"Because I'm a visual learner, usually the only way I can remember a quote is by having closed captions on while watching." Take this sentence on its own. Pretend you're reading it apart from the rest of this article. Ok? Are you visualizing that? Good. Now, ask yourself, just what if anything it means?!??!

Lord. You know, this article does make me think of a clincher: keep your day job.